The Shallows (2016) – perhaps the most disturbing thing about this film is the complete lack of empathy I felt as to whether this beautiful, blonde, intelligent, rich, white young woman survives an ordeal where she’s isolated and left to the mercy of a large shark.

She never once cries, remains stoic, and leaves short cliched finals words to her father and sister, who are unaware and seemingly lack confidence in her free-spirited nature and independence. Is the fact that she doesn’t once cry and speaks lovingly about her father somehow meant to endear me to the character – I think if she was bitchy and angry at her father, and called the shark a ‘motherf**ker’ I could relate to her alot more, in away resembling Clint Eastwood’s sarcasm or Bruce Willis in Die Hard.

Somehow making the character funny and heroic like Mat Damon in The Martian just makes me want to see her struggle and fail. Perhaps that’s the whole point? Torture shark porn.